I could not help posting this, from this summer, plain funny.
The name has been removed to protect the innocent :)

I received your e-mail, but I'm not going to read it.  I'm on vacation until <date> and don't plan to read any e-mail between now and then.  There will also be too much of it to read once I'm back, so don't expect me to get to it then either.  I plan to delete all of it.  So if you want me to read it, send it to me again after <date>.

You can try to call my cell phone, but I won't answer it nor do I plan to return any calls made.  I also will not be on IM. Just accept the fact that I really am on vacation and have every intention of ignoring anything work related for the entire duration.

Merci beaucoup, danke sehr, dank U wel, thanks,
<Name>